We’ve all heard that same story. “I want to lose weight. I’m tired of being fat. I know this isn’t good for me.” Why do so many follow that up with these statements? “But I like my food. I want to change, but I’m not willing to.”
I have two friends that I love dearly. They’ve been through thick and thin with me (one of them, literally! ;)), and we love helping each other. But lately, they’ve been complaining about being overweight. About wanting to lose the weight. About being tired of being fat. About being tired of feeling uncomfortable in their skin. Or wishing they were “hot” again, or…
Being both a knowledgeable personal trainer, with thousands of hours of research, workouts, study and other useful resources/experiences, I offer my thoughts to these friends. Even easy ideas for minor changes. And they shoot me down every time. “I need to stop overeating. But I won’t. I like my chocolate. I like my comfort food.” “I don’t set goals. I won’t. Never have. Won’t do it.”
It’s good to know oneself, but bad habits and mindsets can be changed! But you have to want them to change. If you stubbornly hold onto that as a part of your identity, it won’t change.
So, because one of these has been someone for years I have had as a fitness buddy/accountability partner, I have to change. I will continue being her friend, and will continue to try to encourage her. But I clearly need to look elsewhere for encouragement and support myself. And I need to stop feeling bad or frustrated that she refuses to change. If she’s given up, there’s nothing I can do to help her. I’ve tried. I’m not responsible for her choices.
So, now, it’s time for me to find someone to work with. To partner with. To keep accountable with. To challenge and be challenged by.
I’ve tried to find some people through online communities. Thus far, not going so well, but I’ve also only just begun the process. That is also a significant reason why I downloaded the “Workout Buddies” app. It functions like a dating app, sort of. Shows you people in the area who are also looking for workout buddies. I figured it’s worth a trial run with it. See how it goes! I’ll review it after a while, as well, once I’ve actually used it a bit.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep accountable to my husband and ask him to bug me about everything. And I have a friend or two online that I’ve SEEN make progress in their efforts as well, instead of the year in and year out random three week attempts that so many people make. Those who are successful are who I need to surround myself with, not more people who fight against their own betterment.
Week 1 continues strong.