Some people use guilt, manipulation or bullying to “motivate” people. I’ve heard of men telling their wives they are “too fat” or tell them that they think their wives or girlfriends would be “way sexier” if they lost weight, stopped doing this or that or if they did thus and such. I’ve had men try to manipulate my body image by trying to force me to eat desserts or more food than I wanted, despite me repeatedly telling them I wasn’t hungry and/or didn’t want to eat things I’m allergic to or didn’t want (gluten, sweets, etc.). I am sure that there are women who do this to each other or to men as well.
And today, I wanted to take a few moments out to praise my husband and the men and women like him. My husband has never once told me that I’m “too fat,” even when I was talking about the desire to lose weight. He has never told me that I’d be “way sexier if…” He has never tried to manipulate me into eating something bad for me. He accepts and embraces that I cannot eat certain things (I’m allergic to gluten and corn), but he can, and therefore should feel no guilt in eating said items in front of me. He also does not try to tell me not to eat something because it would “ruin my diet” or some such nonsense.
Instead, my husband respects and listens to me. When I’m talking about my fitness programs, my desire to lose weight, etc., he praises my efforts, tells me that he’s noticed a difference in my energy levels, and the always desired “you LOOK like you’ve lost weight…” is offered (but only if he actually feels it is true). He constantly tells me how beautiful I am to him, how much he desires me, and, most importantly, he commends me for taking care of myself, both in my pursuit of eating right and my physical activities (working out, Krav Maga and my general wellness practices).
His kindness, interest and care for me inspire me every day to better myself. He is my biggest fan, and my best motivation because he actually cares about what’s best for me, not changing me for his benefit.
So, what motivates me? Love.